Final Personal Narrative--The Front Door

Here's my final draft of the personal narrative. I changed the title, description of my mom and the scene, and the ending. Let me know what you think. 

The Front Door

There I sat in the corner of the room, crying. I knew it. My life was over.

“She told me not to. She told me not to,” I repeated over and over in my little 10-year-old mind believing that this would somehow make everything better. I had always known that my mom was always right but this time I really knew it.

Only hours before, I was sitting at the granite kitchen countertop eating my lunch as mom rushed by me and out the door leading into the garage. I was sure she had some very important motherly business to attend to. She was always carrying her big purse filled with who knows what and that day her hair was just a bit frazzled from her already very busy morning. As I heard the van start up in the garage I got up and walked a few steps past the fridge to the sink to refill my cup.

I am free, I thought as I looked at the door and then around at the kitchen connected to the dining room. That was, until she came rushing back in.

“Steven, make sure you don’t go outside while I’m gone,” she said with a concerned look that only a mother could pull off. There was something about the way Mom looked at me with her big blue eyes.

“Why?” I asked, as does every normal little kid. I didn’t say anything more but in my mind that really seemed like a ridiculous request. It was so nice outside.

“I don’t know why.  Just make sure you don’t go outside,” she replied this time with a little more earnestness.

“But Mom why?” I said, pressing the issue a little more. “I won’t leave the yard.”

“Steven I honestly don’t know why but I just have a feeling something will happen if you leave the house and go outside. Maybe it has to do with one of the neighbors…” she said, her words trailing off as she glanced outside.

This time I knew she meant it. There was something in her voice that last time that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But I started to have a feeling, too. “I won’t go outside Mom. I promise.” I mean, after all, I didn’t want something bad to happen to me while she was gone. I had a life to live.

“I trust you,” she said as she kissed me on the head and rushed out the door.

I was free again but not quite as much as I was before because now I was stuck inside. So I watched TV for a little while and then went up to my room to play with a couple new toys I had just gotten. One of them was a brand new slingshot. This wasn’t just any slingshot. It was one my uncle had helped me make, out of a branch I found.  

I walked around the house, my mind preoccupied with things I was pretending to shoot when all of a sudden there he was. I could see him just outside the window on the side of our house.

I ran to the back door, opened it, and made my way to the side of the house, not forgetting to pick up a few perfectly shaped rocks on the way. As I rounded the corner there he was, in the exact place I had seen him just moments ago. A real live red robin. It was almost as if he was waiting for me, daring me to try out my new slingshot. So I grabbed my first pebble and aimed. This was my first shot of the day.

Zhoom, it went, flying way over him landing somewhere in the grass a ways off.  He was gone. That was my one and only chance and now it was gone in the blink of eye. So I wandered around the outside of the house for a few minutes looking for any other things I could shoot when, I saw him again. This time he was on the porch at the top of the few stairs that led into the house. I was given a second chance so I had to make it count. I had to get him this time. So I pulled out my last little rock. It was an especially good one, nice and round, perfect for accuracy. I loaded it. Pulled back. And released…

Zhoom… Crash!

The sound of shattering glass filled the air and what I saw was even worse. It was my front door. This wasn’t just your regular door with a small window. Almost the full thing was glass, beautifully etched glass. Not even all the money I had could begin to pay for that door. So I resorted to my next best option.

I cried. The truth is that my little 10-year-old mind couldn’t think of anything else to do but hide and cry. Just as I began to realize the magnitude of what had just happened it got worse. I realized that not only did I break the glass door, I had broken a promise. She had told me not to go outside but I did it anyway. It was an honest mistake. I just plain forgot in all the excitement of being able to use my new slingshot.

Stupid, stupid slingshot. I hate you! Thinking that it was somehow the slingshot’s fault. I threw my slingshot at the fence as I ran inside. At this point all I could do was wait. I knew that I had not only disobeyed mom, but now the front door was completely shattered. I was doomed. My life was over. I was sure the next time I would see the light of day was when I was old enough to leave the house for good.

As I sat in the corner, crying, in walked dad. I remembered earlier that day he said he was going to come pick me up and we would do something fun, but this was sure to change everything. He was sure to have seen the door as he drove in.

He walked directly over and sat down next to me. “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to. ” I wasn’t even able to look up at him. I just waited in silence for the stern reply.

“How about a round of golf,” he said.

“But… but… what about the door? What about mom?” I couldn’t believe my ears. Did he not realize what I had just done?

“You worry about getting ready for golf, and I’ll worry about mom. ”

Years later I remember returning home to visit my parents. During my brief visit, my little sister had taken my brand new phone. Her favorite thing to do was to steal something of mine and run around as I tried to get it from her. This time though, before I could get it back she dropped it on the hard marble floor of my parents’ front entryway.

She completely froze, knowing I wasn’t going to be happy. All she could do was stare at the phone and just hope it wasn’t broken. As I looked at her, I reached down to pick up my phone with so many thoughts of what to say. And just when I almost couldn’t hold back any longer, I saw it, just behind her.

The beautiful, glass front door.